then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
