There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
