Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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