I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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