I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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