i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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