My hand turned me down
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
