I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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