i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We left the knife in your bed.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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