I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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