yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
