first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
