Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
