I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
this hospital has no fireball
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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