There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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