Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
