I can tuck mytits in my pants
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
