i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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