I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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