I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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