And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
