I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
