I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
