Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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