Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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