I just gift wrapped bread.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
