the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
