I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
