I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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