hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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