every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
