I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
