Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
