Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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