so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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