Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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