Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
