why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
