Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
