I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
