If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
