she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
