Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
