I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize