We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
