Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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