Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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