she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
