jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
