Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wish i was in the wii world.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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